Memoirs of a feeling (part 4)

Aight...i'm back.... putted pen to paper last night and had a hit.....this one....i like... or at least i did at the time.... it's the same thing again...when i was writtng it last night it all seem to fit into place exactly the way it felt and now it feels different... almost like it doesn't apply any longer... i should be used to it by now...
Just came back from a break...and now it makes sense ...every poem and every prose hold's it's moment in time...it's wery own special moment...like a birthay... It could have been written about a person or a feeling or what ever...it'll boil down to the moment..that very moment of inspiration... that's why at most times when i get a wave i have to grab on to it and ride it till it beaches coz once it's lost... it's lost for good... which is why i was so pissed the other day...because i lost two poems that i wrote.. and they had both already reach perfection... Perfect to it's birth... Make any sense...!!!

our Eyes lock
in a prelude to a touch,
our Touch Locks
in a prelude to an embrace,
our Embrace locks
in a prelude to a kiss,
our Kiss locked
into a time in space
our time in space held
sacred in my heart.

Time

haven't had much time to think about what inspire's me today... No point writting about my day in general...because already one of us had to live through it... me... !!! will put pen to paper tonight... works alot better that way... :)

Memoirs of a feeling (part 3)/For the hell of it

(This one started out as memoirs of a feeling but got completely screwed… I’m still putting it up because I like where it went… this is the third one today… the first two were perfect and I lost them both to a connection fault… what a god damn waste…!!! If I had a serviceable memory it wouldn’t be that bad…. Alas … It was exhausting enough to write the first two…this one’s still no where near perfection… my own standards off course…) I believe that this poem wasn’t meant to be…


----------For the hell of it-----------
I see a face in a crowd,
There is a chilling familiarity to your gaze.
we meet ,
I am frostbitten by your stare and reeled in.

A song stirs a sense of deep remorse from the crevices within,
As the shades of Grey sweep my face pale
I see hell in your eyes,
And it is clear now…

With the world moving in fast forward around us,
I stand fixed in molecular stillness.
Trapped in the palm of malice.

Watching and waiting.
A means to a bitter end.

I hypocritically fight it so as to willingly give in,
The allure of your fluidity,
An open invitation to pure nothingness,
It waltz’s me across my boundaries and thresholds.
Pittance is everything else now….

I GIVE UP

TODAY i lost two poems to this computer ... i'm exhausted and peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeved ...this one wasn't meant to be!!! but it shall!!!

Memoirs of a feeling (part 2)

i saw you tonight all decked out to have a time out on the night... i stole a picture of you while you weren't looking... and decided that it wasn;t enough... got a friend to pull you aside and manage a nice photo together.... it's funny how the word together works to be "to get her" if broken up..... well i haven't stopped thinking about you and i doubt i will for sometime..good or bad...i don't know where this is going...but i do know with every passing day i fall further and further in....

A smile so demure
and a laugh completely distinguishable
A fool am i for you.... to twidle between your fingers...
approach with caution though...
for i fall with utter recklesness.

good night my sweet stranger...
you that have brought my sleep back to me...

the way you look at me from the corner of your eye...
intrigues me... !!! and captivates... enthralls and renders me motionless...

I only look to you now to feel alive...
a new breath of air to an axphixiated heart...

Concern vs Irritant

there is usually two side's to me
1)he concern side
2)the irritating side

1)he concern side
the concern is when i'm at work i like to help my collegues with what ever help they need usually in the completing of certain task that require time and effort.. It doesn't always have anything to do with me but it usually end's up with me doing it...based on a delegation by my supervisor... So the way i see it, is i'm gona end up doing it anyway...so i might as well do it cos i want to.... MAke's it alot easier to do... And i also make it a point to offer help with the mediocre thing's like if i'm going to the fax machine to get a fax....i ask if anyone is expecting anything so i can pick it up at the same time...or the printer...which located on the other side of the world... no joke..!!! and like wise they usually check with me first... if i need anything..

2) the irritant part is simple...life's too short to not be an irriatant...if you go around being too nice then everything is fine and danndy for evryone else except yourselve...so from time to time i like making thing's difficult for my collegue's ...why...for the hell of it.... a stupid comment usually...

Here's what you get when you mix the two of em 1) + 2) = my pesonal favorite (3)... yesterday i asked my supevisor if he needed anything from where i was going and he just stared at me.... then i smiled and asked him again...politely of course...he looked as if he was upset... Maybe it wasn't the offer that upset him...maybe it was where i was going that did....I don't know...i'm no rocket scientist.... I was just heading to the Mens room to take a dump.... You can't please everyone..... i guess....

How to do a survey

i was at work today and we were told to fill in a survey for human resource...when i saw the survey i realised it was exactly the same one i filled up in the previous three years i've been in my company... It was one question paper and an answer sheet...kinda like the one's you'd get during exams for multiple choice question's. So i decided to have a little fun... I turned the paper on it's side and started colouring the dot's i'd need then when i was done i numbered the dot's in ascending order....after that i wrote a note saying " FOLLOW THE NUMBERS AND JOIN THE DOTS FOR FUN " and once you've done that you'll be able to see on the first upper colomn the word " NIKE " and on the second lower column you'd see the word's "JUST DO IT " and that my dear friends is how you handle an event that's a waste of time...by wasting more time.... Though i honestly Doubt my human resource manager would have enough brains to figure out what to do... with all them dot's ...... Can't win 'em all !!!

memoirs of a feeling ( part one)

Posted on Sep 22, '04 4:37 AM ET for everyone
( this is something weird i'm starting out... it's like a cyber love affair... from me with regards to a real person ...who of course has no idea i have feelings for her and will probably never know ....cos i won't tell her..ever...!!! Why??? (write about it) Well...for a lack of anything better to write about...(why not tell her ) cos i can't tell you either... And i since i am a very private...( well atleast i'd like to be ) person... ( what a contradiction ) AAAAAAAArgh... screw the beginning part... i'm just trying to write a story here..... ( basically me speaking to this person in context of here and now...which would be the same here and now that you'd have if you were reading this a week or a month...hell even a year from here and now... ) ( got it...!!!?!!! ) ( no guarantees on if i manage to stick to the point... to be taken once daily ) ( will also be laced with day to day entries... Can't help it...thinking way to much of her.... )

I saw you the other day... in a place i shall not say... as always i felt hope looking at you... hope that tomorrow would be better..that all hurdles could be cleared... you'd give me strength... Perhaps in time with your hand in mine... And like wise i'd see you through your difficulties... we'd share our happiness so we'd grow closer...and stronger... if dreams are always the opposite of reality.. would we ever get enough of sleep.. with the amount of turmoil and catastrophes i'd have to endure... at the price of a better life...I now chase a different dream.. i did previously chase wealth and status... although i didn't get as far as i would have liked too.. i got far enough to realize it's fruits are not as sweet... thankfully i am able to accept what i cannot change...the world... It is but an empty shell if it's dwellers cannot live in complete harmony... i'd catch my self ever so occasionally watching you... the way you smile... the sound of your laugh.... the way your hair falls on your shoulders... it's strike me strange how the word marriage works into an equation...before marriage there's so much joy and laughter...and after there is scarcely enough for everyone.... So wouldn't it be better if we didn't marry... that a side... someone told me how they noticed that i watched you cross the room... this person didn't think anything of it until it was realized that i was watching you ...grinning wide eyed to myself.... and i wasn't caught just once.... I must admit it was surprising and a little embarrassing to get caught but... what followed was equally surprising...if not even more... i was told you did the same for me.... thought provoking... i knew i stole glances of you and you knew as well...sometimes you'd catch me... what i didn't know was you stole glances of me... you've done well to have not been caught yet...in you i found my smile..one i had lost for a while... i look forward to seeing you again... i know it will be soon... if the wait does not destroy me first.to be continued

ok ok ...it's now once a month

this journal thing isn't quitre goin to well huh.... three entries in the last three months or so....hahahai got a letter from a certain company the other day...and these bastards are gona fine me... oh well that's life..... and this is a fine city as well.... There are only two things in this life that one can be absolutely certain of.... ironically one is Death..the other however is quite the supprise... Taxes!!! Death and Taxes....what a deadly Duo... like the green hornet and Kato... Can anybody tell me something...Do you really write what you really feel in here or is everything just a waste of time...IN other words Would you say something that would implicate yourself....???